Friday, October 28, 2011


Hello Pat.....Let's just get straight to it....... You had general life questions & wanted to connect with your Mom....I was able to bring your mom "in" to give me a lot of insight....Let's start with you first...You wanted to know who inspired you to become the person you are...etc..... (everything highlighted in "blue" has a purpose and you will see/ read that purpose later in your reading)
Your main purpose in life I get for you- or the way you've been conducting your life to date appears to be
surrounded with a lot of worry, anxiety and not being able to sleep because your thoughts are running at one hundred miles an hour. You are working yourself up and becoming incredibly stressed and anxious when, really, none of the things that get you so upset, don't appear to really be complicated issues. You have a tendency to get very worked up about how bad a situation appears, losing sight of what it is really happening and what opportunities are available to you. What is needed here is for you to stop and objectively examine the reality of the situation. Bring yourself back to earth by uncovering your fears and anxieties and working to reduce the impact of those fears and anxieties on your life. Know that it is going to be ok, no matter what.
In fact, I getting that your worry and despair may actually be causing you harm. (physically, mentally and even with your health....I feel the tendency to have panic attacks) The more you worry about something, the more likely it is you will manifest your worst nightmares. In other words...our minds are very powerful and we actually manifest events, things, etc...ourselves when we constantly harp, worry and stress over them.  Do not let this nightmare become your reality! Take a deep breath and realize that life is not as bad as it seems and that the more you worry, the more harm you are doing to yourself.
I'm also getting that this is something you know, to an extent and are already (or thinking about) working on this, or possibly even seeing a professional (counselor, preacher?) to work through this period of worry and depression and are in the early stages of beginning to make a recovery. You may have recently come to the realization that some things are not as bad as you had made it out to be, and you are beginning (or trying) to relax and calm yourself about what was once a terrifying situation.
You may also find that your dreams are very telling at this time. Use a dream journal to help you analyze what is happening at a subconscious level.  There's a website which describes dreams in detail and it's very interesting

You've had to face many challenges throughout your life, mostly dealing with strength, determination, and power in a manner of gaining above; control over YOU, your fears, your life, kids, etc... and this is telling me it's all "internal strength" you struggle with..... the power of the human spirit to overcome any obstacle. Strength is about knowing that you can endure life’s obstacles by drawing upon your inner strength and confidence. You truly have great stamina and persistence, tempered by an underlying patience and inner calm, yet you've allowed your fears and anxieties to dominate that ability. You know what needs to be done, yet you often lack the inner strength/ability to be focused on what you need to do, and  go about it in a way that demonstrates great composure and maturity.....which in return causes a lot of stress and worry and sometimes immaturity - (sorry) 
You need to try using a compassionate approach. The saying, "You can catch more bees with honey" is similar here as in, You are more likely to achieve your goals, conducting your affairs by showing love and patience.....Is this making any sense?  You often may find you struggle with giving others space and of being intolerant of their needs; not being "accepting" or very forgiving- and can easily hold a grudge for some time. In doing this, you create a unsafe and untrusting environment where you can't positively influence others. This demonstrates a level of ‘hard’ control, and you need to work on "soft" control, persuading and coaxing others to your way of thinking.
The qualities of inner strength are already in you, waiting to appear once you have mastered all your raw, foundational emotions and when you are ready to move on to the spiritual tasks that lie ahead. That is a good thing, because it's just an obstacle, that with practice and patience, you can achieve this...The main lesson is that emotions must be transcended if spiritual wisdom and intuition are to be awakened. Your inner voice is often drowned out by the constant noise of emotion and preoccupation with fear. Only once you have eliminated these raw emotions can you begin to create the silence you need. So conquer your fears, control your impulses, and never lose patience with yourself or what you are doing. Eventually you will see the wisdom of letting go of your lower self; tame the "inner" beasts within yourself.   This is a time when you need to be very conscious of your instinctual urges and reactions, and bring them into balance with the greater good and meaning in life. This is not a time to act out in rage or in hatred but instead to look at the situation from a place of love and compassion.  I realize, easier said than done.....But it's what needs to happy if you want the chaos to lessen and peace to prevail....and learn to take responsibility for yourself, your actions, and be the master of yourself and YOUR world...Not someone else.  If you are one of those people who find yourself in a place where you feel as though you are able to act impulsively or irrationally, and  blurt out angry comments or negative things to others, stop - count to 10, draw on your God given "inner strength" and then try to tame yourself.  Then, do the opposite..... by offering peace, love, and warmth. You may need to do the same to prevent yourself from leaping out at others and saying some things you might later regret.
 If you have been self-doubting, by obtaining this inner strength you struggle with, it will give you the confidence to fight those doubts. Additionally, Im feeling you feeling worn out and stressed, practicing on calming your self / spirit tells me, undoubtedly -  “Things are going to get better! You are going to find the strength within yourself and within others to keep going!”But now - the work is up to you.  I've given you the knowledge / tools - You have to put it into action.  : )    And rest assured, results and/or other's attitudes may not change re: you, etc...immediately - But I promise....One way or another, you will be recognized or rewarded for your efforts.
You were "gifted" with Inner Strength AS WELL as a person who is able to really rastionize situations and maintain an equal balance, inwardly and outwardly....But somewhere along your life path, everything got topsy turvy and your talent/gift in your life, starting kinda, working against you.  DONT DO THIS TO YOURSELF....YOU HAVE SUCH AWESOME QUALITIES, YET YOU HAVE TOSSED THEM ASIDE, DOING THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU KNOW SHOULD BE DOING!
You always seem to have conflicting interests.  You need to find a way (that inner strength) to bring back  balance that venture with other important areas of life such as family, friends, and even your own physical, mental, and spiritual well-being; It's a balance between opposing desires and interests. Life will always be uncertain, yet if you can produce balance and harmony among all the demands upon you, you will ultimately live happily and in prosperity.
Thus, remember to remain alert, agile and patient as you attempt to juggle your family, your friends, work, finances, health and new challenges. You need to be very clear on your priorities and where you want to invest your time and energy. There is a tendency to be distracted by day-to-day affairs and general busy-ness, so prioritizing your activities and carefully managing your time is essential.
Brings yourself back down to earth and remind yourself to not only focus on your broader life goals but to also make sure your day-to-day affairs are in order. In other words, you may have a hard time prioritizing things and by working on this; good time management and financial management, ensures that your bills are paid on time, that you keep a record of all your appointments and daily commitments, etc. It may sound tedious having to focus your attention on these more mundane issues, while also working on "yourself" at the same time, but sometimes getting on top of your daily affairs is as important as pursuing your broader life goals. More simply put, it's kinda difficult for you to juggle / handle multiple activities / responsibilities at once...Which is where you need to learn to prioritize and simplify..... Choose your battles and let everything go.
If you are unwilling and unable to create some inner strength,peace, and balance within yourself, I definately feel only more problems and difficulties in the future, which create further obstacles which hinder the attainment of what you wish to pursue or obtain in life. The situation may cause, again, undue worry, requiring you to juggle your priorities and manage your time effectively even more so to stay on top of the situation.

Now, all of this represents CHANGE and I get that you also struggle with being able to cope with change, remaining flexible and being adaptable.....So, rather than putting all your eggs in one basket, you may be better to keep two or more things going at once so you have the luxury of choice, should one option fall through. You must stay centred while you stay flexible and keep informed. Look for new possibilities, be open to change and go with the flow as best you can.
It appears to me the your life direction, or how you've currently been conducting your life / day to day activities is possibly based upon a person, but not clear on that.......I think you (or you and this younger person) may have been discussing a creative project or venture; or it's a lingering thought, still in your head, not yet expressed.
Again, I'm hearing that your unconscious mind is also trying to speak to you, possibly through your dreams or through anachronistic encounters with significant people. The message to be taken is that you must be open to the unexpected, occasionally bizarre impulses of the creative spirit and not shut out inspiration simply because it does not fit in with a rational point of view. I see that you're also gifted with a sharp intuition and you may receive messages from your unconscious mind. You may be more inclined to act on a hunch, have a psychic experience, or a connection with one who is psychic... (LOL)  This is a good time to trust your intuition and your gut feeling.  In addition to the good news above, you also may receive a positive message or news from loved ones. You may hear (or have already learned) about the birth or upcoming birth of a child (pregnancy), (grandchild) or an engagement or marriage, a wonderful idea or plan, a new relationship, travel plans, etc. This positive message is unexpected but welcomed, and you are likely to respond to the news or message in an emotional manner. BUT REMEMBER.....Positive, loving more critical behavior, or very little anyway!  : )  Instead of being guided by your head, let your heart and intuition try taking over for a while.  Try being less "stuffy" or opposing and just let some of those burdens fall your ‘inner child’ – youthful, free, creative, intuitive and inspired. In doing this and learning to maintain balance and a greater, softer inner spirit- your imagination is totally free, free to dream wonderful dreams and to create life exactly as YOU choose.  Like I said,  our minds actually create happenings in our life...positive or negative...In allowing yourself to be free of the stress, anger, worry, you're in return bring in a positive renewal of your emotional and creative self to allow that sense of freedom to reappear in your life.
So, now is the time to take a fresh perspective on what you perceive as difficult issues and to approach them with benefit of the doubt, love and compassion. Never stop listening to your intuition and believing in your dreams, yet don't force them on another.  If you cease to dream, then your dreams shall never come true because they do not exist anymore.  Dare to dream and all things become possible.
I know that one thing you were concerned with is who you learned from or who influenced you in become the type of person you are today...this is interesting, because the qualities within the person I see and the way you conduct your life appear to be similar, yet opposite of your desires....I will try to articulate the best that I can what I'm getting.....It's almost as if, you deeply loved this person, but swore you'd never become them....and perhaps this is one of your deepest fears and worries that plague you daily....and it's only because you ALLOW IT TO....WE ARE WHO WE WANT TO BE - NOT WHAT WE FEEL WE HAVE TO BE...
I am seeing like a curtain behind a person. This curtain represents "hidden" forces of negativity that constrain you and that trick you into thinking you are imprisoned by external forces ultimately out of your control.   This is one VERY important reason for you to enable much needed inner strength, because what your feeling is an inner force.  When this is a negative force, it brings forth fears, addictions, and other harmful impulses. It is a great master of deception and creates the illusion that you are involuntarily bound to them or they're way of behaving....likes it's something that's inherited and out of your control. However, you must always remember that each of us are individuals, given life by GOD, being born through our parents (mothers) and we each are given at that time FREE WILL.....So, there really are no chains that bind you here - You've in a sense, freely given over that will and just accepted this fate....when in reality, this person's influences and/or believe system has actually got you convinced that it's just you are feeling stuck or restricted in your life, believing that you are being controlled by external forces when in fact you have created your own chains of imprisonment and powerlessness with a sense of hopelessness. You feel despair and have a pessimistic view of life because you feel that so much is outside of your control. You fear the worst, and this means that your fears have a hold over you and prevent you from leading a more fulfilling and optimistic life.  I've already told you HOW to overcome everything restricting you and creating so much chaos.....Those same tools are what will ultimately free you from this as well.   You can and should (if you choose) always love and remember this person....but  Know that you have the power within to free yourself from the bondage of this person and be your own person....which I see is a damn good lady - 
In addition, when I see this in a person, I also see actual addictions and dependencies in your life, or that were in the life of the person who has this influential hold over you.....such as alcoholism, drug-taking, unhealthy relationships, over-spending and the like. Its as if the need for something and a willingness to go against what is known to be right and true in order to obtain it. If this is YOU, break free of these negative patterns of behavior, again, by acknowledging the hold that they have over you and the negative impact they are having on your life. Often they are behaviors that are immediately gratifying but which cause longer-term damage to your inner fulfillment.In return, lead you to where you are now.
More generally, I've seen a great tendency for you to be OCD -  becoming obsessed and hell-bent on a particular idea, situation or endeavor. You are over-investing yourself in one area at the expense of other areas of your life.  You may have become so fixated on something(s), and that too shows you have forgotten the importance of investing in your relationships or yourself. Your value has nothing to do with how much you earn or how much you own and will or have created an unhealthy bond with these materialistic desires and again, allows your free will to be controlled by this bondage.
Next, i THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT AND WHO HELPED ME IN YOUR PERSONAL READING.....But, I'll give you the "medium" portion of your reading now...Your Mom.
I got that she spent her life, wishing for everything, but getting nothing - in her eyes.  Never satisfied. Never enough.  She had very unrealistic expectations of everything; herself, her family, dreams, just in life in general.
She "expected" that all these things should just manifest with little input or action.  she was always missing
 something missing deep down, and the inner fulfillment was never present. (SOUND FAMILIAR?)  She was always disappointed due to imperfections and mistakes, smugness, overindulgence, greed, superficial or materialistic values, shallowness, gluttony, and excessive preoccupation (OCD) with gratifying her own desires, often times at the expense of the needs of others. She lacked moderation in all things, over indulging in all things.
She knew, without regard of how her behavior impacting others, and are often found gloating or boasting about successes (whether true or not) while others are suffering.
She appeared to face many challenges,always - she had no organizational skills and always seeked short term satisfaction; never long-term goals and prioritizing what is important.  Deep down, like you, she knew what she should be doing and what she "really" wanted to achieve....yet,it may have all just been so overwhelming and without prioritizing skills, it seemed that she want so many things but no ability to really reason and thought to make them a reality.  She took many, if not all things for granted and overlooked the things that mattered most. she was always neg. and depressed and inflicted these attitudes toward everyone around her, because it was easier than taking responsibility for herself and actions.
When it came to her life and financial issues, she is telling me to just simply have you read what I high lighted in blue above - period.  (so, now that you've re-read the "blue" highlights above, I get that she was pre-occupied with money, and it caused much grief, worry and stress...again, unrealistic views.....
She showing me that she really did love her family and had a love for a not so loveable man. (Your father?) She doesn't say......She just describes him as a man with an over-use and abuse of authoritative power.He was often incredibly domineering and rigid in his thinking. You also get some of this from this person..Yet, she actually refers to him as being an insecure man throwing his weight around who has a need for control. He often made you all feel powerless...(DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR ALSO) .
In addition, she says that currently, you are also dealing with this type of person and you are now ready to embrace something new....(inner strength)      You want to free yourself from the routine and the structures that have permeated your life and held you back. You want to provide yourself with greater freedom to explore your creativity, rather than getting bogged down in the detail and the routine.
Whether this is a spouse, or someone very close....they've  become over-bearing, possessive, dominating and authoritative. Wanting someone  to take care of you and provide a stable foundation for the future, it has gone too far now and you feel as though much of your independence and freedom have been taken away. Your partner has become stubborn, rules-based, argumentative and highly structured. This is putting strain on the relationship and preventing a creative flow of energies to flow between you. He/she feels benevolently toward you but has inflexible expectations of you. 
And finally, asked her to show/tell me what she disliked the most and or regretted in life.....And she said there were so many things...but mostly it was SELF DOUBT...Her self doubt created everything else she did...
feeling negatively about herself...a failure as a wife, mother and person...AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW SHE FAILED HER CHILD(REN)   She said if she could give you any gift in the world right now it would be the confidence she and you now lack, and the much needed support and recognition you deserved then and now to pick you up and give you strength again. She wants you to know, despite what you may think, she was always proud of you even though she didn't often say so.  She was selfish and self absorbed and when not trying to please herself, she was giving into the demands of a man.  She said she lacked in the worst way, exactly what you are dealing with / poses a great challenge in you.....inner strength and spirit.  She's finally at peace, and only wishes that she'd created an environment for you which brought you peace as an adult in life.  But she also reemphasises,,,,,,you can still obtain everything she desired, positively. 

I hope that in some way, this helps?  It just kinda ended here and she felt as though there wasn't really much more to say.  I hope that I'm not off on this reading or hurtful.  It's actually a very good insight and hopefully helpful.  Peace.....  Let me know how I did.... Oh, and be sure that you don't instill these behaviors in your child(ren), please.....Cycles stop when we stop them........


  1. Also my mom wanted me to tell you she did read this but her work lockedher out of commenting so she will respond tonight.

  2. Do you have any idea of it's accuracy? I just want to know if I was in the right direction, or did I go way off on this one?

  3. hmm for some reason my first post didnt go through lol. You hit my mom dead on. I will let her elaborate more but I will just say that your readig of my mom has proven your gift to be and taken away ALL doubt of your accuracy. As far as my grandmother, you hit on a LOT of points that I remember and her message to my mom brought me to tears because I know that was a fear. It's one of the things she always told me was that she did not want us to have the same relationship as her and grandma. There are a lot of points though I couldnt tell you because they sound like they would be from when my mom was a kid. But still.... eerily accurate. I am keeping an eye on that request thread... as soon as it opens Im dropping one because if my mom feels lost... then I am off the grid LOL.

  4. Im really trying to respond to this but like you said i have soooo much going in my head right now, that Im having a hard time putting it into words. The amount of emotions is up there so yes aniexty is setting in. Helloooo Serenity payer!

  5. That's ok :) It's a lot to read. And be honest.

  6. Just so you know Im still working on it. Now I can only imagine what you go thru when you do theses readings. Intense! Soul searching.

  7. Am I that far"off" on yours? I'm so sorry if I am :((

  8. Ok i think Im going to do my reading first. Thats all i got done thus far.
    Ive had one reading before. About 30 yrs ago. I wasnt impressed with it so this reading blew my socks off. Now i know why people get emotional about it. I got walluped. I hope im understanding what Im reading. Not one of my strong suits..comprehension - i have to read it a few times.
    First paragraph - Dead on! Ive always reacted instead of acted. Which means it adds uneeded or wanted stress. Then if i cant deal with it, I leave it lingering in my brain. I always look at things as  the glass " half empty" instead of "halfful" i got the negativity from my mom. As a kid, i really dont remember my mom being TRUELY happy so the negativity fll on my sister and me. My sister is a tuff cookie so iI dont think it effected her like it did me. I was tagged " the emotional" child. I take everthing to heart.
    When i saw the panic attack - i laughed cuz I had 2 at work last week.  To much just came at me at once and i freaked.

    If i confuse you, let me know cuz my brain is sill

    As far as seeing.  a profesional - i am a grateful recovering alcoholic. I am extemely proud of this part of my life. I am 3 yrs 1 month and 2 weeks sober.
    My doctor had me on anti-depressants, anxiety pills and Tarazadone cuz i couldnt sleep at nignt. I was on them for several years but when the economy got bad, i weaned myself off of all of them. With everythinh going on with me, i started thinking about going back on them but again i disregarded it do to the cost.

    As for my dreams - my husband has been telling me ive been talking in my sleep.  He notices it more when i'm stressed. When i climb into bed and close my eyes, it like a light show going off. I start thinking about my job cuz we've had 3 layoff, my family and everything and anything i can think of. I used to tell myself if i dont go to sleep, im going to clean my house. That normally will knock me
    I do recognized one of my biggest problems is my inner strength. I have minnimal. My recovery from alcoholism is the only inner strength i feel i have. Which is a good and bad. I know deep down in the pit of my stomach that if i relapse (would be 4th time), i will not make it back. I will lose my family, job and my life.if im drunk, i have no life. Again this is where i need balance. Im so afraid to socialize at parties, i dont like to leave my comfort house. I'd rather have everyone here then me go out.
    your statement on the bees and honey if my pholosophy at work so why dont i use it at home. I said something to my husband last week meaning to be a joke but it didnt come out that way. I really hurt his feelings. I apologized and told him i didnt mean it that way. He told me he's been aound me long enough that he knows i did mean it.
    Btw, i didnt overlook the " immaturity" But its true.  My child inside does comes out.
    Alot of times i speak before i think. My dad used to say that and my husband does say it.
    Can you give me an idea where i veered off my path so i can identify it.

  9. Now, i need to get my almost 52 yr old tushie out off my recliner and take care of business.
    Like my mom, i love my family sooooo mu h but i need to start showing and telling them.

    Change - OMG i dont like change. Well i think it really depends on what it is. If its hard, i probably look for a short cut..not good.
    Im still working on the part about working on a projrcy with possibly a younger person.
    Now about my unconscious mind trying to speak to me - Says i need to be more  spontaneous?
    Also - on me receiving msgs - can you tell me something? A few times i felt my mom was trying to tell me something so loudy that i called my sister and left her a voice mail.  Was that her?

    Now heres something else that blew me away. My granddaughter is pregnant. She lives in california. The day she got home, she found out she was pregnant. Wow woman!  She's due May 30.

    Now the solution - let go let god. Say the serenity prayer as needed. Then get out and live with friends and family.  And bring my inner strength out and use it.
    The person i deeply loved was my mom. Not as a child so much. The older i got, the smarter she got. There are alot of things i changed that my mom used to do to me that i didnt like but i still have still the negativaty and the sharp tongue.
    This is a little hard for me to give input because of what? Yes, that 4 letter bad word "fear". I know what i feel but if read by other family members, it might get taken out of context. It would be hard for me to filter what i feel. Lots of emotions. Thats probably where the chains come in. I have LOTS of work to do.

    Ive always thought i was OCD. When i find something i like, it consumes me and sometimes it effects my marriage. I feel like i have blinders on.

    Well, here u go. I hope i didnt confuse you. For some reason i cant go back and correct anything. Guess i'll se after i post it. I am so grateful for this reading. It means do much to me. You put alot into this. I will forever be greatful.

    Since this took me all night, i will respond to my mom tomorrow.

  10. No steph - your not off. Im

  11. My message from my mom about me not being my mom - I chuckled cuz I used to say it alot. Thank you mom :)
    As a child, i wasnt close to my mom. Too damanding. Expectatations to high. Wanted things done to her liking. If not done correctly, it would upset her. I still kinna have that in me. Not as bad but it is there. I left home at 17 years old cuz i felt i could do a better job and i wanted to just get away. Didnt go too far, just to Wichita KS.
    My parents divorced a couple of years later. My dad remarried a couple years after that to my mom's best friend. Lots of drama for severals years after that.
    I moved back to Missouri. Mom and I started having a relationship for the first time. Mom finally started living her life, partying. She got into a little financial problems at one point, but her mom got her back on track. Mom eventually got remarried.
    About 13 yrs later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer (runs in the family). From that day forward, i feel that changed our relationship for the positive. So when you told me my mom helped you with this reading, it stirred my emotions up because I love her so much.
    I feel you read my mom to a tee. I do have alot of my mom's same qualities. In my eyes, mom loved to spend money. She loved nice things ( materialistic). I feel my alcoholism came from my mom's side. I felt she was a "social alcoholic" and i had told her this. I feel that I inherited my mom's emotional side.
    My mom faced alot of challenges but her biggest one came from when she was a child. She got an infection in one of her eyes. At 6 yrs old she had to have that eye removed. From that day forward, she wasnt aloud to do alot for fear of damaging the other eye. My mom never learned to drive so then she never had confidence to try and it just escalated from there. She always felt like a burden after the divorce cuz she had to depend on others for everything if she needed to go anywhere.
    My mom was a stay at home mom. My dad finally got her to get a job and not long after that is when he left. She was about 45 yrs old when she got her first job. My mom never lived alone so this was hard for her. Physically and emotionally.

    I did know my mom loved her family very much. She showed her emotions about that when she got older.

    Im not sure about the unloveable man cuz 3 come to mind - my dad, her dad and her 2nd husband. I'm going to pick her father. He was loud, mean, alcoholic and had exta-curricular activities. I wasnt very close to my mom's parents at all. They never really wanted us (my sister and I around when they would visit but was different with my mom's brothers kids. That part came from my mom. They were very critical and judgemental..hmmm..I guess that's where mom got it from.

    I think one day i had a "epiphany" (spelling). I never could understand why my mom and i were'nt close when I was a kid. One day, i dug deep within and I think I know. My grandmother was left on a door step when she was a baby. She eventually was adopted by a fairly well do to family. The thing is my grandmother didnt get that mother child bonding experience so when i was born, mom didnt have it with me. My conclusion was:  it was no ones fault. My mom raised me the best way she knew how. The good thing was I got that bonding with my daughter so the cycle was broken. I always felt unloved as a child  and i didnt want to pass that feeling to my daughter. Hopefully i didnt. My daughter means the world to me.

  12. which sound like my huband. My husband is a very opinionated man. He loves to debate so much that sometimes he's unfair which makes me mad and want to leave. He loves to use the things you've done wrong..control makes his point. Ive made ALOT of bad decsions and he reminds me almost on a daily basis. He calls it a "learning tool". I call it a "beating tool". I dont like it!  Dont get me wrong, he has a huge heart but when he gets mad , I would want to leave. I used to walk away to calm down but he would always follow me to continue the " discussion". He would do anything for anybody but bitches when he has to do it. We separated aout 7-8 yrs ago but it only lasted for 6 mos. Now were working on 27 yrs of marriage. Like all marriages, you have your ups and downs. We just seem to have alot of downs but most of it was caused by MY poor decisions thats when he would reacts.

    When i came across that my mom wanted me to know, despite what i thought, that she was proud of me....OMG! Thank You. I needed that. She would tell me that later in her life, but its had a magor inpact on me right now. I love you momma! The tears are freely falling again. I feel Ive changed since her passing. I feel so lost without her.

    Stephanie - Thank you so much. This truly means more to me than I can say. I will try to do my best of my ability, with God's help in bringing my inner stength back into my life. God bless you and your family.

  13. You're welcome x'1000. BUT- now maybe you (and everyone else) can kindof understand....if it took you an entire day just to sift through a reading, then imagine me trying to get just one readiing - so specifically onto paper (computer) written (typed) all out, articulating and putting together just pieces of words and images given to me.....VERY HARD and time consuming. That's why it's taking me so long. Another reason I hope that everyone can see, I'm "REALLY" do "readings", and not just typing generic BS or trying to deceit anyone. : ) I will keep you in my thoughts and I know now, you will be able to make, if not all, some major changes in YOUR life, for the better! Always, Stephanie

  14. BTW- Did you "join/follow" my blog?

  15. Oh yes mame. The second time I got on it. Matter of fact...your blog icon is on my Ipad for easy :)

  16. Like I said earlier...I had one when I was about 20 to 22 yrs old. Either I wasn't into it as much then as I am now, because her reading was pretty basic and boring. Ive read EVERYTHING on this blog and I am so amazed. I get on here 5 to 6 times (minimum) a day to see if anything new has posted. I think thats why I got blocked at work from posting on here. Im normally a really hard worker..kinna slack off this week. Stressed myself out. Plum wore out! Go figure go. Well, my job like other people, stressful, but I'm basically a bill collector on business'. I have to sell the idea that they want to give me their money. Ive been doing this for 18 yrs. With the economy, that has been stressful. My inner strength needs to come out there too. I'm a nice but good collector, if you can believe that. But my fears keep me from being a great one. I need to take baby steps. Im using the serenity prayer. Thus far, today has been an awesome day. One out of our 16 grandbabies, had her 2nd birthday party today. A beautiful day to celebrate at the Pumpkin Patch.

  17. :) :) :) :) :) I promise you....Just 2 weeks ago, I'd never have dreamed that ANYONE, much less a stranger would have MY BLOG is an I-CON for easy access. I'm absolutely thrilled and on the same hand, dumbfounded! I'm also extremely grateful that each of you were trusting and willing to open up your personal life, family, memories - the good, bad, and the me and allow me to "read" for you. It's been (and still is) challenging in getting everyone's completed - I take what I "give" to others very seriously and realize that what I say and how I may advise someone could have serious consequences - Therefore I do none of this light-heartedly - And take great caution in each and every reading - ensuring that what I am getting is articulated as accurately as possible, and in sensitive issues, as tactfully as I can. Thank you - everyone. I only hope and pray that each of you that I've read for, and who are still waiting for me to post your reading, have joined/followed my Blog, emailed my link to everyone you know...shared my link on your FB page / Twitter accts. and any other way you can. And not only that, I hope that even when my "Free reading" offer has expired, you will continue to follow my Blog - and not forget about me. : ) AND ONE MORE THING...AS MUCH AS EACH OF YOU CONTINUE TO TELL ME HOW MUCH I'VE HELPED YOU WITH MY READINGS, I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW SOMETHING......UNTIL THIS PAST WEEK, ALMOST EVERYONE WHO READ ANYTHING I'D POSTED ELSEWHERE, PUT ME, MY ABILITIES, ETC...DOWN IN WAYS THAT WERE SO HUMILIATING. (One reason I started my own Blogsite) Yet, all of you, for whatever reason, were led to my site, just all the sudden - ? AND HAVE GIVEN ME SO MUCH MORE THAN I FEEL I COULD HAVE EVER GIVEN YOU.....ENCOURAGEMENT AND HOPE - Thank you - (Now, enough sentimental chatter...I've got readings to finish!) : ) Stephanie

  18. Girl - I started on mine as soon as I walked in the front door which was approx 6pm and finished at 1120pm. I was using pen and paper and my Ipad. I used about 5-6 legal pad papers just on the reading but i do write big. ;) I think I only had a taste of what you do. No wonder why you couldnt get things done. You really get absorbed. Your talents are amazing. I wish I could do what you do. I think i said on my first post here that i do believe in the afterlife. My husb gives me alot of guff because I do. I will continue to be supportive and active on this blog.

  19. Thanks...and something else I want to add, which I posted on, but wanted to put on your comments too....What I did for each of you, is something I love to do. I took this passion, and tried my hardest to turn into something positive and useful, which led me to missing person's and crimes in general. (since that area of "work" had already been incorporated into my life, being employed in LE, it seemed like a logical course) The problem with my intentions was, I didn't realize how unreceptive my intentions and efforts were going to be....and it REALLY instilled a lot of discouragement and doubt in continuing. I'd hoped, honest, this was going to be something that just took off like a bullet for me, and I was going to eventually become an asset to everyone who needed assistance in Missing Person's cases, and hopefully - I would actually be doing something I loved, and maybe even earn a living doing it. I was proven wrong, fast. FIRST, I never imagined how hard it was going to be to actually "locate" a missing person.....It's damn near impossible - I can give multiple facts surrounding how/why/what...but pin-pointing an exact location - OMG! I was always accused of having some kind of hidden agenda when I never asked for nothing - ever - other than to be heard and to try to help. SECOND, Everything we get, whether it's groceries, gas, a haircut, etc...any "service" - WE KNOW WE HAVE TO PAY FOR IT, Period. BUT, if a Psychic/Medium ask for $$ for their services, they're a fraud, cheat, liar, etc... I will admit, there are hundred's, if not thousands of lying, cheating psychics out there who earn a good living at what they do....conning others. Just like there are hundred's of cheating LE (unfortunately), mechanics, people in sales, attorney's etc... who earn a living in this way. The problem is, I think, psychic abilities are not a proven, beyond a doubt "ability" - and even the best, true - well intended psychics can't always get things correct.....Not only that, because it's generally thought of as an unreliable source - and even worse - by hardcore "Christians" as the works of the Devil.....(Well, unless you are "performing" within the church, and then they justify it as being a Prophet of God) it has, more than any other "profession", been revealed that another psychic has been caught scamming someone....It becomes "public knowledge" so much quicker than any other "caught scam artist" because society in general love to prove / put down / and disregard things they don't understand or believe in........ Therefore, I want to be sure that I say and include everyone who's read my Blog, and that I've read for.......Thank you - and now you may understand why it's impacted me as much as it has any/all of you!

  20. In my own opinion.. What they dont know or understand could be fear. Its easy to put someone down when they do not have the knowledge, the gift or the ability to understand what you are trying to do. Didnt I read you basically started this because of a missing family member? Keep your chin up, keep your faith and keep doing exactly what your doing. You are you. Your are awesome and dont let ANYONE tell you different.


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